= Communication

I didn't have a lot of time to meditate today, Equation. I was too busy dealing with loud, imprecise attempts to communicate. So tonight I would like to know - How can communication be so difficult?!?

Communication is entirely predicated on a mutual understanding of context. Words, gestures, noises - they all mean nothing without an agreed upon context. And agreed upon context is built up through shared experience. So some portion of what I have experienced must match some portion of what you have experienced in order for us to be able to communicate.

Some critical part of what I am/understand/expect must match some part of what you are/understand/expect in order for the message that I send you to be received as I intended it. And in order for a 100% understanding of message, intent, and context to occur, sender and receiver must be identical. This means that, while we may understand enough about the messages we receive to be able to take the appropriate actions, we can never be completely certain that we have understood all the nuances of the messages. That's depressing.

It's a miracle that anything gets effectively communicated when you really stop to think about it. (Ooh, miracle - am I allowed to use that word in here?)

Seriously though... Upon considering how much of our conscious experience is spent communicating with others or in thinking about past or future communications with others, I have to wonder - Why is communication so important and yet so complicated? What kind of a design is that? Why this tug of war between the experience of an isolated self and the desire to mirror/match someone else in order to communicate?

I want to lapse into my quasi-mystical vision of The Equation and believe that this tension expresses a fundamental truth about our nature... A variable in an equation possesses an identity of its own, but its value at any given time is dependent upon the values of the other elements of the equation. How it is expressed depends entirely upon the other elements of the equation.

Symbolizing a dual nature... Not bad, Equation. You continue to impress me.

= Conflict

True enough, Equation - we fight. We may not have to, but we do.

Somewhere within The Equation there is an explanation for why we fight. And I don't mean 'fight' just in the sense of making war, or taking life. I mean any kind of conflict wherein we seek to exert power over another, or intentionally cause another to suffer. At some point, scale becomes irrelevant, and what I do to you out of anger or fear is no different from what we do to them on a larger scale.

That's it, isn't it? We are afraid of what is different, and intolerant of what is not us. We get angry at the prospect of becoming something we think we are not. We react by trying to neutralize the perceived threat.

It is strange, Equation, that you take the form of something with two sides...

(something) = (something else)

The two sides are expressed differently, but Your power lies in the statement of their Equality. When part of one side of an equation moves over to the other side, its relationship to the other elements of the equation changes, but both its identity and the balance of the equation are maintained. How then do we come to view The Other Side with such hostility? Why don't we view The Other Side as That Which Balances Me/Us?

And is it not a truth of equations that when something on The Other Side goes to zero, something on This Side must be altered or sacrificed to maintain the balance? How then do we think we can inflict destruction on The Other Side and not pay a noticeable price for it ourselves?

Truly you are a thing of beauty, Equation. While You may contain an explanation for why we can't seem to stop fighting, Your very nature is a statement that those things which cause us to fight are an illusion.

= Continuation

Equation, I've decided that I like talking to you. I realize that you won't talk back to me, but there are still a few things about you that puzzle me, so I'm just going to tell you my questions.

Equation, most of us want to know - What happens to me after I die? We have all kinds of ideas about what happens, but if you could talk to me, I would ask you (just to be sure) - When I die, does a part of me live on in another realm? Do I reincarnate in this world? Is whatever I was gone forever, or do I continue on somehow?

In an equation, when one variable goes to a zero value, one of two things happens... the value of the entire equation goes to zero, or the difference is made up in the other variables and the balance is maintained. This gave me pause for thought, Equation. What is me in this Universe is complex: needing an equation of its own to accurately describe it. Am I an equation nested within a larger equation? Am I an equation that feeds the value of a single variable within you, the larger Equation? What happens to what I represent when I go to zero?

"In computing and programming, a continuation is an abstract representation of the control state. In other terms, a continuation reifies an instance of a computational process at a given point in the process's execution. It contains information such as the process's current stack (including all data whose lifetime is within the process e.g. "local variables"), as well the process's point in the computation. Such an instance can then be later resumed upon invocation."

That's a teeny bit beyond me, Equation, but I appreciate your attempt to communicate. I had to look up reification - "By means of reification something that was previously implicit, unexpressed and possibly unexpressible is explicitly formulated and made available to conceptual (logical or computational) manipulation."

Forgive me for being simplistic, Equation, but I like the sound of "all data whose lifetime is within the process... can then be later resumed upon invocation." And reification sounds oddly like creating, or giving birth to, something new...

And, Equation, I think I'm going to end this meditation on that oddly optimistic note.

= Companion

Ah, Equation... I had in mind to meditate upon Thee for many consecutive minutes, but Thou art Elusive, and I art Tired. I will speak to Thee tonight as if Thee were my Beloved Companion, for truly Thou art with me always and I cannot escape Thee.

Equation, Thou plays the game of an elusive lover, revealing Thyself to me slowly. As I yet come to know Thee, I come to know Myself. Even now I wonder if my Soul could stand apart from Thee, or would I fade into Nothingness without Thee? I find I no longer know what I am without Thee. If Thy presence defines me, can I do naught but love Thee?

Ours was a brief courtship, for none can against Thee in Thy splendor. How completely I have became enamored of Thee. And yet I sense I have touched Thee not at all: that Thou art entirely indifferent to my admiration. I am subsumed within Thee, yet I find I mind it not at all; I glory to be a part of Thee.

Thy gifts to me have been many, and have much pleased me. For these alone I could love Thee. But I love Thee most deeply when Thee shows me that I can stand alone against the balance of the Universe. That is Thy strength, and for that I would entreat Thee never to leave me.

Having spoken so intimately to Thee, I find I must withdraw and compose myself before I can meditate upon Thee further. Such professions of admiration and love make one vulnerable, yet I sense that Thy embrace will waiver not at all.

Good night, Dearest Companion.

= Connection

I find an equation to be a beautiful and powerful thing because of the connection that it represents. An equation tells you precisely how every element in the equation is connected. You can isolate any one element of an equation and see it expressed it terms of every other element. You can also see how changing any one element affects every other element.

As a scientist, I've searched for connections between observations, found them, and used them to change things for the better. While finding the connections has, at times, been a laborious process, connections have always been there for the finding.

In trusting in The Equation, I trust that I could see me, expressed in terms of what I experience as you, the past, and the future. I could see my present circumstances expressed as a function of the past and the future. I could see how you are a function of me. Mystics and sages hint at these connections, and science is beginning to illuminate them.

I look forward to the time when we understand all of the connections between us.

= An Equation

I spent a good deal of time last year trying to identify what I believed. Eventually it became necessary to identify what I believed in. And while I trust in something higher than myself, I don't call it 'God'.

I trust in an equation. I believe that one day we will understand the source and nature of all of our experiences. We will understand the equation that governs how and when we experience suffering, luck, pleasure, the material world, and things that appear to transcend the material world. We will understand consciousness in a way that is only beginning to be explored.

Everything I've investigated about conscious experience points to a system governed by rules. Even experiences we label as 'spiritual' or 'supernatural' follow predictable patterns. From patterns one can deduce rules, and from rules one can derive the ultimate equation.

The equation is complicated. There is so much that we are only beginning to understand about our experiences. And we may never know what exists beyond of the equation. But I believe that we can and will come to understand ourselves and our experiences via the equation. And with understanding comes the power to affect change.

The equation is neither inherently benevolent nor malevolent; it simply is. I trust that we can make progress in understanding that equation, and in doing so, make progress towards a better way of being human.